This article was originally published in Life and Godliness for Everywoman, Volume I.-
Think of a one-word description of emotions (confusing, happy, uncontrolled, bonkers, roller-coaster, etc.):
Imagine the following scene: You are sitting at the table drinking tea with a friend. She says something really hurtful like, “You have a really big nose, and it makes that hat look silly on you.” But you just sit there and smile. You say pleasantly, “Would you like some more tea?” You are enjoying the cooling breeze and the warmth of the jasmine tea. Her mean comment didn’t even bother you because you are not affected by any negative emotion. You are not hurt or angry. You do not question your value or your worth. You do not flash back to mean comments from the kids in your elementary school like, “Hey big nose, save some air for the rest of us!” You feel happy, blessed and full of self-esteem.
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Wouldn’t it be wonderful if life were that way? And yet, we cannot have it both ways. If we no longer had capacity for negative emotions, that would also be true about positive emotions? (If we have emotions, we have both positive and negative…we can’t just choose to have the positive.)
Through the years I have been confused at times about the role that my emotions are to play in my life. Often it seems that all they do is get me in trouble and that I am better off without them. Are emotions friends or fiends?
But, I had to realize that if negative emotions are shut down in my life, positive ones would be shut down too. I would be unable to appreciate and enjoy loving someone, witnessing the glowing embers of a sunset, holding a newborn baby, etc. At times I have attempted to throw a blanket over my negative emotions, only to find that it fell over my positive ones too.
We must decide to “make peace” with our emotions.
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