Confession: Faith has never come easy for me.The voice started in high school, in Mr. Gus's class, where we explored the great thinkers of the Enlightenment. Mr. Gus dared us to answer hard questions, to prove why we believed what we believed. His questions made me stop and think, "Why do I believe these things? Is this really my faith, or have I blindly adopted my parents' faith?"
I came home asking questions—lots of them. I am forever thankful for my parents' wisdom. They didn't freak out: "How dare you doubt God and the Bible?!" They didn't panic: "Oh, no! Our daughter is falling away from God!" They didn't blow me off: "Huh. Those are hard questions. Good luck figuring things out." They didn't write me off: "You're just going through a weird teenage phase—it will go away in a week or two."
They took me seriously, and let me dive deep. They didn't offer quick, shallow answers. My dad, who has wrestled with a number of faith questions himself, said, "I understand why you have those questions—I've had them too! So let's study them out together." He gave me books to read, and gave me freedom to ask all my questions. We worked through them one by one, step by step. There was no pressure, no guilt, and no rush. I went back and forth on some of these questions for months—some for years—and Mom and Dad were always there to listen, to discuss, to reason, and to point me to helpful resources. And it's not like I grew up and stopped asking questions—I still ask a ton of questions, but now I know enough about the Bible and apologetics that I know where to turn when questions crop up.
Here are a few conclusions I've come to over the years—maybe they will encourage you if you find faith difficult:
1. It’s okay to have questions about faith—in fact, questions are good. Doubt means you are thinking. Doubt means you don’t just blindly accept everything you hear from the pulpit or from popular Christian culture. God encourages us to love him “with all [our] minds” -- Mark 12:30. He doesn’t want us to check our brains at the door when we become Christians! Thinking and study are an integral part of our faith. Doubt only becomes a problem if we don’t take the time to address it—if we are lazy and unwilling to put the time in to read and study and seek answers.
2. I'm not the first person to have this question. Whatever question I am asking, some other Christian has asked it before me. Which means: 1) I'm not weird or sinful for having this question, and 2) I can find helpful writings (and podcasts and videos) on this topic. Chances are, great Christian thinkers and apologists have already produced a wealth of material on this exact question, and somewhere in their words, I can find the help I need. (My go-to person for faith questions is my longtime friend Dr. Douglas Jacoby, whose website is a vast resource for Christians with questions.)